Get Your Daily Dose of Giggles and Knowledge
JOKES
Page 2
Doctor's Scary Answer
28 Jul 2014
Alarmed by the prolonged discussions of his case by a group of doctors by his bedside, a patient said, "There must be something terribly wrong with me." "Why do you say that?" asked the doctor. "All the other doctors seem to disagree with your diagnosis." "Don't you worry." consoled the doctor. "In a similar case sometime back I stood firm on my diagnosis and the postmortem proved me right!"
heaven's lie clocks
24 Feb 2014
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your [...]
password reset trouble
17 Feb 2014
"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." 1prettyrose "Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." [...]
kill a donkey
13 May 2013
Two terrorists having discussion in a bar. A waiter happens to get what the discussion was about and makes an inquiry... Terrorist : We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.. Waiter : A donkey....Why a donkey? Then one terrorist says to the other, "See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people."
basic maths
8 May 2013
The school teacher was taking the class in basic maths. She said to little Johnny, "If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many have you got?" "Seven," replied Johnny. "No, Johnny," explained the teacher. "That's not the right answer. Listen. If I give you two apples, then I [...]
puddle's miserable day
6 May 2013
A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. What's your name? she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My name's Huey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles. She goes up to the second dog and asks "What's your name? The [...]
a snail's plea
6 May 2013
A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all about?"
...at an exotic pets auction
6 May 2013
During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placed a winning bid told the auctioneer, "I'm paying a fortune for that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say he does" "I guarantee it, madam", replied the auctioneer. "Who do you think was bidding against you?
lion-gorilla drama
6 May 2013
There was a gorilla sitting on a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass? After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and [...]
johnny applies for a job
3 May 2013
I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your company and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant. Every time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I caught you red handed and you have no excuse because [...]
johnny spoils a wedding
3 May 2013
On a wedding day, the pastor asked their usual question; "anyone who feels the couple should not be joined in holy matrimony should speak now or forever remain silent" johnny raised his hand from the back, on seeing him the bride fainted and when she was revived, the pastor asked johnny, "why did you raised your hand Son?" johnny replied, "i just wanted to tell you that we can't hear you from the back!"
a call of nature
30 Apr 2013
I was in the public toilets just the other day. a voice from the next cubicle said, 'Hi, how are you?' Embarrassed, I said, 'am doing fine'. The voice said,'What are you up to? I said, 'just doing the same as you, sitting here!' from next door still, 'can i come over?' Annoyed, i said, 'rather busy right now,' The voice said, 'listen, i have to call you back, there is an idiot next door answering all my questions. ...I fainted....
duck punishment
30 Apr 2013
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, [...]
eat first
26 Apr 2013
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, F.F. His wife turned to him and answered, E.F. Out on the highway, he said, F.F. She responded simply, E.F. He repeated, F.F. She again replied, E.F. "Mom! Dad!" their son yelled, "What's going on?" Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"
new man and old nature
26 Apr 2013
A man was taken to court for shoplifting. The man said to the judge, "Your Honor, I'm a Christian. I am a new man. But I have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong. It was my old man" The judge responded, "Since it was the old man that broke the law, we'll sentence him to 60 days in jail. And since the new man was an accomplice in the theft, we'll give him 30 days, too. I therefore sentence you both to 90 days in jail"
my grandfather
26 Apr 2013
Fellow 1 : Now my grandfather, knew the exact day and time that he was going to die. Fellow 2 : Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that? Fellow 1 : A judge told him.
johnny's wife
22 Apr 2013
Teacher:What kind of a wife would you like, Johnny? Johnny:I would want a wife like the moon... Teacher:Wow!!What a choice...do you want her to be cool and calm like the moon? Johnny:No,no... Teacher: Oh so you want her to be round and white? Johnny:No,no... Teacher: Oh so you want her to be fair and beautiful like the moon? Johnny:No,no...I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning...Only pleasure no pains
lady vs guy's inbox
22 Apr 2013
A LADY'S INBOX: KEVO: hello, gal i've been trying ur numba but its not goin, i just want to let u know dat i love u.. DAVE: just give me a chance i promise i wont fail u pls.. DENNO: i will be goin clubing do u mind to join me... SONKO: send me ur [...]
joint account
22 Apr 2013
Rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier. shocked, the cashier asks, "Whats this for?" the Rasta man replies, "Me here to open a "Joint Account"
law vs psychology
21 Apr 2013
A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl answered with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy, and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked [...]
- The little sparrow who learned to fly from a majestic eagle
- Lily Overcomes Her Worst Fears
- The 3 animals and the monster
- The honest Jack
- Lucy the baker
- The Magical Seeds
- The Little Caterpillar
