A pub is closing and a totally plastered customer struggles to get to the door to walk home, despite only living a few hundred yards from there. He literally crawls on the pavement all the way back home, drags himself up the stairs and eventually reaches his bed after two hours.
He wakes up the next morning, and his wife tells him, "You were really drunk last night weren't you?"
"Yeah, why? How do you know?" "You left your wheelchair at the pub."