Get Your Daily Dose of Giggles and Knowledge
JOKES
Page 4
100 rupees
11 Apr 2013
In Lok Sabha, a Congress MP during his speech told a story..... "There was a father who gave 100 rupees to each of his 3 sons and asked them to buy things and fill up a room completely. "First son bought hay for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely. "Second son bought cotton [...]
3 brazillions
11 Apr 2013
Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!" His staff was stunned at his display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands. Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Just how many is a brazillion?"
am not free
11 Apr 2013
The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, "I'm not free. I'm four."
wanna git out
2 Apr 2013
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon" answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" He asks. "Same time as [...]
drinking is bad
1 Apr 2013
At a Bar, a NUN preaches: Drinking is Bad. Man: Have you tried it? Nun: No, Never. Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll giv up Drinking. Nun: Ok, but bring it in a Teacup, I don't want people seeing me drinking. ...Man goes to the bartender and says: Giv me two Shots of Rum in Tea-Cups. Bartender: IS THAT NUN HERE Again?
communication skills
31 Mar 2013
Jack and Mark are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Mark replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?" The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter [...]
they are finally together
29 Mar 2013
Agnes was married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she got married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas!, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving [...]
johnny in court
29 Mar 2013
Judge: Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?" Johny: I was caught shopping very early. Judge:That doesn't seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by "very early?" Johny: Well, your Honour It was before the shop was open.
fascinate
29 Mar 2013
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep.. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'. Sally [...]
burger king
29 Mar 2013
Wife : Honey can u help me with the garden? Husband : Do I look like a Gardener? Wife : Honey the toilet is broken... Husband : Do I look like a Plumber? ( Later The husband went out for lunch & when he came back everything was fixed ) Husband : Did u fix [...]
found the remote
29 Mar 2013
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed [...]
angels overload
29 Mar 2013
Father Mbayo was driving at around 2.00am alone in his car and got to a roadblock. The policeman stopped him and asked for everything which he gave out. The policeman had nothing to ask again, in order to charge him, guess what the police man said; "I charge you for driving alone at this time [...]
sugar test
29 Mar 2013
Jonny Goes Into A Chemist, Reaches Into His Pocket And Takes Out A Small Bottle And a Teaspoon. He Pours Some Liquid Into The Teaspoon And Offers It To The Chemists Assistant. "Could You Taste This, Please?" The Chemists Assistant Takes The Teaspoon, Puts It In His Mouth, Swirls The Liquid Around and Swallows It. "Does It Taste Sweet?" Asked Jonny. "No, Not at All" Says The Chemists Assistant."Good ," Says Jonny. "The Doctor Told Me To Come Here And Get My Urine Tested For Sugar"
favourite parent
29 Mar 2013
dad: between me and your mom, who do you love themost? son: i love the both of you... dad: i mean... who is you favourite parent? son: the both of you... dad: no! choose one ...assuming that i went to america n your mom went to paris, where would you choose to go? son: i [...]
prison break spoiler
28 Mar 2013
fred, Steve and johnny all escaped from prison and got into a nearby woods and each of them climbed separate trees. When the police found Fred's tree and asked who was up there, he chirped like a bird. When the police went to Steve's tree, he made some chipmunk noises. When the police went to johnny's tree, johnny said, "MOOOOOOOOOOW!"
the fastest thing
28 Mar 2013
4 Jamaicans were seated smoking Weed. They were all philosophising on what was the Fastest thing in the World.. NATTY: Me tink de fassis ting is a thought b'coz b4 U can tink it,it already thought.. GB: Nah man,da fasses ting is a blink b'coz b4 U tink to blink,U dun blink already!... MANGO MAN: [...]
poison prescribtion
28 Mar 2013
A married woman entered a Pharmacy, walked to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes and said, 'I would like to buy FAST HUMAN POISON'. The Pharmacist asked, 'why, what... for? The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband'. The Pharmacist shouted, 'Lord have mercy, it’s against the law! It’s a sin. 'Absolutely [...]
smart thief
28 Mar 2013
Kamau and Okoth entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, Okoth steals 3 chocolate bars. After leaving the store, Okoth says to Kamau: "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, you cant beat that". Kamau replies "You want to see something better, lets go back [...]
potentiality vs reality
28 Mar 2013
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll show you the difference. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. [...]
12 funny laws
28 Mar 2013
FUNNY LAWS: 1. Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 2. Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone. 3. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, [...]
- The little sparrow who learned to fly from a majestic eagle
- Lily Overcomes Her Worst Fears
- The 3 animals and the monster
- The honest Jack
- Lucy the baker
- The Magical Seeds
- The Little Caterpillar
